Don't be an asshole: On changing the way you communicate

Communicating with people is hard. Much harder, than communicating with the machines.

Sometimes we forget to switch off our inner asshole, which may result in unpleasant consequences for both parties.

Personal experience

It was hard to realise, that I am using "asshole speak"for a long time.
I was brought up in a harsh environment, and being an asshole was a very natural way to get some authority and influence.

For me personally, it was even harder to realise how devastating an "assholism" impact was for people around me.

I'd suggest you to think about your behaviour from time to time, even if you do not feel like being rude or aggressive. Just analyse what impact the words you are using have.

Also, bear in mind cultural differences.
It was really hard for me to grasp the difference between Russian and English phrases I used: some day-to-day phrases in my native language are not very polite and pleasant when they get translated.

If you notice some assholism in your behaviour, fixing the way you communicate will result in a huge gain and change your life completely.

What can I do?

Imagine, that you are reviewing a bunch of pull requests.

Here is a small example dictionary to help you transform emotional statements to human-friendly phrases.

? of this solution? the issue? Check this one out: (link). How do you like it?
What I think What I should write in a comment
There are a couple of critical issues, but they will backfire in the future and I do not want/too lazy right now to care It has some minor issues but generally looks good.
I will solve the problem in the same way Great solution!
I could not find any urgent problems, but my guts tell me the opposite This code interesting, and I want to give it some deeper thoughts.
I want you to rewrite this stuff in my way... I think we can solve it like that ...
There is an obvious and generally acceptable way to solve this problem. No need to reinvent the wheel I have found this link ... Maybe it will be useful?
This is not acceptable I think there may be a problem with this code ...
I cannot understand a single line Can you please elaborate as I don't fully understand this line
I have never thought to solve the problem this way Wow, great approach!
Looks good, but... Looks good. I'd suggest ...
WTF? Can you please explain me this line?
An obvious part is missing ... I think we could add ...
I will never make it this way! What do you think about another approach:
An obvious part is broken ... I think you should consider this case as well ...
This is completely inappropriate in our code base! May I ask you to reconsider this ... because ...
A totally unrelated stuff is done I think I am missing something. Can we discuss it?
I cannot remember the problem and cannot deduce it from code Can you please remind me the context
I want to show this code to my friend to laugh together Have you seen other approaches to solving
Have you read the docs before adding this stuff? I am afraid this solution can be contrary to our vision. You can read about it here: ... Can you please adapt your solution?

Can you see the difference in those phrases?

Do you know how to improve them further?

Please, feel free to leave comments.